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Viral Email Jokes
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The Tomato Company
An unemployed man is desperate to support his family of a wife and three
kids. He applies for a janitor's job at Microsoft and easily passes an
aptitude test.
The human resources manager tells him, 'You will be hired at minimum wage
of $5.35 an hour. Let me have your email address so that we can get you in the
loop. Our system will automatically email you all the forms and advise you when
to start and where to report on your first day.'
Taken back, the man protests that he is poor and has neither a computer
nor an email address.
To this the manager replies, 'You must understand that to a company like
ours that means that you virtually do not exist. Without an email address you
can hardly expect to be employed by a high-tech firm. Good day.'
Stunned, he then leaves not knowing where to turn and having $10 in his
wallet, he walks past a farmers' market and sees a stand selling 25lb crates of
beautiful red tomatoes.
He buys a crate, carries it to a busy corner and displays the tomatoes.
In less than 2 hours he sells all the tomatoes and makes 100% profit. Repeating
the process several times more that day, he ends up with almost $100 and
arrives home that night with several bags of groceries for his family.
During the night he decides to repeat the tomato business the next day.
By the end of the week he is getting up early every day and working into the
night. He multiplies his profits quickly.
Early in the second week he acquires a cart to transport several boxes of
tomatoes at a time, but before a month is up he sells the cart to buy a broken-
down pickup truck.
At the end of a year he owns three old trucks. His two sons have left
their neighborhood gangs to help him with the tomato business, his wife is
buying the tomatoes, and his daughter is taking night courses at the community
college so she can keep books for him.
By the end of the second year he has a dozen very nice used trucks and
employs fifteen previously unemployed people, all selling tomatoes. He
continues to work hard.
Time passes and at the end of the fifth year he owns a fleet of nice
trucks and a warehouse that his wife supervises, plus two tomato farms that the
boys manage. The tomato company's payroll has put hundreds of homeless and
jobless people to work. His daughter reports that the business grossed over one
million dollars.
Planning for the future, he decides to buy some life insurance.
Consulting with an insurance adviser, he picks an insurance plan to fit
his new circumstances. Then the adviser asks him for his email address in order
to send the final documents electronically.
When the man replies that he doesn't have time to mess with a computer
and has no email address, the insurance man is stunned.
'What, you don't have e-mail? No computer? No Internet? Just think where
you would be today if you'd had all of that five years ago!'
'Ha!' snorts the man. 'If I'd had email five years ago I would be
sweeping floors at Microsoft and making $5.35 an hour.'
Which brings us to the moral of the story:
Since you got this story by email, you're probably closer to being a
janitor than a millionaire. Sadly, I received it also.
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