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Miscellaneous
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Contributor:
Funnyfarm
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Jokes for the Ladies!
Q: Why are married women heavier than single women?A: Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.Q: How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?A: Both of them.Q: Why did the man cross the road?A: He heard the chicken was a slut.Q: Why don't women blink during foreplay?A: They don't have time.Q: Why does it take 1 million sperm cells to fertilize one egg?A: They won't stop to ask directions.Q: What do men and sperm have in common?A: They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being.Q: How does a man show that he is planning for the future?A: He buys two cases of beer.Q: What is the difference between men and government bonds?A: The bonds mature.Q: Why are blonde jokes so short?A: So men can remember them.Q: How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?A: We don't know; it has never happened.Q: Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?A: They all already have boyfriends.Q: What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?A: A Widow.Q: How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?A: His hand caught fire.Q: How do you get a man to do sit-ups?A: Put the remote control between his toes.Q: What did God say after creating Adam?A: I must be able to do better than that.Q: What did God say after creating Eve?A: "Practice makes perfect."Q: How are men and parking spots alike?A: Good ones are always taken. Free ones are mostly handicapped or extremely small.Q: What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?A: They are married.Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"God says: "So you would love her.""But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?"God says: "So she would love you."
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